Avoid the Tension: State Your Intention for Better Feedback Conversations

Giving direct feedback without damaging morale is one of the biggest challenges for managers and individual contributors. It can feel uncomfortable. However, it doesn’t have to be.

The key is learning how to approach those conversations with clarity and purpose. When you avoid the tension and state your intention, feedback becomes a tool for connection instead of conflict.

How Stating Your Intentions Can Help Alleviate Tension

Many professionals hesitate to speak up because they don’t want to hurt feelings or strain work relationships. That hesitation shows empathy. Nevertheless, it also leads to missed opportunities. When feedback is delayed or watered down, performance stalls, and trust weakens.

Gallup’s research on hybrid and remote engagement found that 80% of people who received meaningful feedback in the past week were fully engaged at work. That engagement level had more influence than how often people were in the office. Feedback matters, and how we deliver it matters even more.

Use Intention to Guide the Conversation 

The question isn’t, “Should I say something?” It’s “How can I say it in a way that builds trust?”

One of the strongest ways to do this is to lead with intention. Start the conversation by clarifying why you’re sharing feedback and what outcome you hope to reach. This clear direction from the start can significantly shift the tone of the conversation.

Here’s a simple but effective example:

“I’d like to share some feedback about how we’ve been working together. I know it’s important to both of us to land this client, so I intend to share this to make sure we both feel heard in the process.”

This kind of opening signals two things–that you care about the relationship, and that you’re focused on a shared goal. It lowers defensiveness and opens the door to productive dialogue. Adding a mutual objective helps shift the focus away from blame and toward collaboration.

Make Your Message Land

Once your intention is clear, the feedback lands in a more open space. People feel less threatened when they know the reason behind the message. It also makes receiving input as a partnership effort easier, not a personal critique.

Before your next difficult conversation, take a moment to define your purpose and then express it clearly. When people know where you’re coming from, they’re more likely to meet you where you are.

So next time you need to give honest input, avoid the tension, and state your intention.

How We Help You Build Stronger Conversations

NextArrow helps teams learn how to communicate with purpose and presence. Our workshops and leadership coaching programs combine behavioral skills with cognitive tools. This way, your team can confidently handle real-world conversations.

We offer group coaching, one-on-one sessions, and customized training for up to 30 participants per workshop. We design every experience to be interactive and practical, so your team walks away with tools they can use immediately.

Are you ready to build more assertive conversations that lead to real progress? Let’s make feedback easier—and more effective—together.